How to move on and let go of a relationship, job, or phase of life

Entire books have been written on the topic! If you go to Amazon you’ll see a lot of items about how to move on from everything from job loss to relationships. Why so many books on moving forward? Because moving on is one of the most difficult and confusing things we are forced to go through in our lives. Everyone needs to let go many times through their years. So it follows that the more well-informed we are about how to move on, the easier our lives will be. I’ve made just a few points below to help you get started on or continue on dealing with the changes you are going through right now. If you’d like a more extensive article try here.

How to move on step one: Don’t be too hard on yourself

At the end of a relationship or any situation that you have become comfortable with it is normal to feel grief and loss and confusion. It is also normal for most of us to blame ourselves, but doing so will only pile more confusion and pain on top of the loss we already feel. Be kind to yourself.

Highly recommended guided audio from Kristin Neff: Self-Compassion Step by Step: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself [Audio CD]

How to move on step two: Be truthful with yourself

It is also normal to want to blame the other person, or organization, or situation for our difficulty. Take a kind and clear look at yourself. While you search for things you yourself could have done better — or mistakes you made — do so from a perspective of compassion for yourself. We are all works in progress, so it only makes sense to be kind to ourselves and others.

Here’s another good book on developing compassion for yourself: The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion.

How to move on step three: Try to learn from it

If you can take the time you had in the situation your moving on from and be curious about it, you can learn from it. See more clearly the things you might have done better or the choices that you should or shouldn’t have made. Write them down. Once you know yourself better you can make positive changes, become wiser, and become happier. If you learn from your hardships the hardships, once you are through the pain, become blessings.

How to move on step four: You might not be happy about it but you can be grateful about it

If you really can see that some positive change has happened in you as a result of the experience then you have truly learned from it and can even be grateful. If you had never entered the relationship or job, etc., then you would not have gone through it, got out of it and — eventually — learned from it and become wiser and happier! And the next time you are in a painful situation you will be more equipped to deal with it, stronger, and have more perspective.

Here’s an inspiring book about facing both internal and external hardships: Thriving Through Life’s Storms: One Woman’s Journey of Overcoming Hardships.