Meditation and Moving On

Letting go can be one of the most difficult of psychological and emotional tasks. Meditation can be a fantastic tool we can use in order to work with the resistance we meet within ourselves when we try to move on. When we meditate a few things are happening that make it easier to let go of a relationship, a job, or anything else we are attached to that we need to give up. It is important to know that what is meant by meditation here is simple mindfulness meditation that can be done by anyone of any religious or spiritual persuasion and doesn’t require any belief system — in fact the less preconception you have the better! These days it is even approved by the US Department of Health and Human Services — see this page. Here is a link to an excellent mindfulness meditation program.

 What is meditation?

To distill it down into as few words as possible: sit and be aware, when you find your mind wandering from awareness gently bring it back. That’s it! Usually rather than just being aware [bare awareness] it is helpful to have an object on which to place our attention. Most people find the sensation of breathing in and out to be a good focus as it is always there and very natural.

A Short Guided Mindfulness Meditation with Jon Kabat-Zinn

Constantly letting go

What your mind does as it encounters wandering and distraction during meditation is to simply let go of them without judgment. By doing this a larger perspective naturally arises where the problem you are experiencing — what you are trying to move on from — becomes less of a big deal. And notice that letting go is THE way that meditation proceeds. In effect you are practicing letting go over and over again when you sit down to meditate. A thought arises? Let it go. You hear a car horn? Let it go. You feel angry? Let it go. You feel desirous? Let it go. Thinking of a job you lost? Thinking of an ex? Let it go, let it go.


Inevitably it feels like our mind is getting worse when we meditate. “I am thinking more!” But the fact is you are just noticing more. The quantity of thoughts was always there, we’ve just started shining a spotlight on them while before they were largely in the dark. It is also important to start slowly: try 5-10 minutes/day and work up to 20-30 minutes gradually. If you can find a meditation group to join in that will be a great support as you get used to it. It is important to do some reading on meditation too to get clear about what to do and what not to do to have an effective meditation session. There are plenty of books on Amazon.

You can meditate any time

Sitting down to meditate is easier than working and meditating or driving and meditating but just by being more aware of what is going on around you or paying attention to the little details of your daily life you are encouraging the meditative state of mind and putting your problems and losses in perspective.

Some resources for helping you learn more about meditation and an excellent mindfulness meditation program.